“I've got {blank} in my bedroom” Decoded

Now, I am not going to pretend to be an expert on the male psyche. In fact, I am probably the further thing you can be from an expert. I think that literally every guy who has ever liked me or come onto me has taken me by surprise. I’m always like “Whaaat? You’re kissing me? There were literally no signs leading up to this at all, especially not when you told me I looked fantastic the other night. Or when we went out to dinner. This is a shocking development!”

Yep. I’m clearly outrageously intuitive.

However, in my series of misadventures and missing hints, there is one thing I have learned.

If a guy invites you into his bedroom to see something, it’s because he wants to kiss you. It doesn’t matter what that thing is. It doesn’t matter if he actually kisses you… maybe he lost his nerve, he still wanted to. It doesn’t matter if it’s this…



… it’s because he wants to kiss you. (Ryan Gosling probably doesn’t need an excuse to get girls into his room, but he’s so classy that I’d like to think he’d come up with a semi-justifiable reason.)

Seriously though. It’s a good line. Check it. Here’s a list of things that have gotten me to check out someone’s room:

~ a projector
~ a photo collage
~ the fact that he had a sheet instead of a door
~ a plant
~ plaid shirts
~ and, yes, two full-length mirrors

In case anyone was wondering, my bedroom has two closets in it. I plan to use that as a selling point someday to see if this line works when the shoe’s on the other foot...

"Hey boy. I've got two closets in my bedroom. You wanna see them?"

Killer.